Thoughts

The metro, half-empty and by far occupied by women at this particular moment, is quiet. All of them sit or stand, lingering, alone, and not a word is spoken. The quiet and individual commute of these people, combined with the rush of the train running over the tracks and the wheeze of the air in the tunnel give me some time to think. My brain racks through several thoughts, quickly skipping from one thing to another: the film i've just seen, which has an interesting effect on me; the solitude of the last two hours that also disrupts something inside me; the vague and sleepiness of my mind after the much-needed sleep in the dark and ample room. I think about life: where i'm headed, what's going to happen to me, what i want to be. This is all oddly philosophical, but perhaps i've been postponing these questions for too long and it's time to get some answers. I walk through the streets on my way home, the stillness of the november evening allowing the thoughts to flow despite the change in atmosphere. I can see the moon above the grandness of the old square; it's simple, and beautiful. Up the stairs i feel myself starting to phase back. I find there's only one person at home: my mother. And this seems as good a time as any to confront what has been occupying my thoughts by far for almost a week. But my vulnerability towards this subject keeps me procrastinating, unwilling to face the situation which will prevent me from even daydreaming.

But it's time to do something with my life...